. . . . . . Embrace The Weird

The Boxes Have Started

2011-10-13T12:11:00.001-07:00

In only 15 days I will be moving to a new apartment. It will be the first time I've ever truly lived by myself. I moved out of my parents house almost 8 years ago -- but since then I've always had at least one roommate. Now this time around I will be the only person taking residency in my new apartment ... besides the cat.

I have already schedule for movers to help out. This will be my first experience with movers, but it was necessary. I live on the 3rd floor of my apartment and there is no elevator. My dad helped me move in three years ago, but since then I have acquired a lot more furniture.

I am still however boxing everything up on my own. A good friend of mine just moved recently so she gave all her boxes to me. Me and the boyfriend got started on packing some stuff up yesterday. It went really well and I'd say we have almost 50% of the stuff done. Since it's still 2 weeks till I move I don't want to pack everything up. The kitchen and bathroom are still intact and probably won't get boxed till the very last moment possible.

It's still pretty lonely living in the apartment by myself (the room-mate got married and has already moved out) but I'm starting to get use to it. I think I'll be much happier when the whole move is over and I'm able to start a new life in a new place. Granted I'm not leaving town (just moving across town) but I have 3 years worth of memories in that apartment and those memories have left a lot of ghosts around. So sitting there alone .... is just depressing.

Here's to a whole new life!!

Selena Gomez Stalker?

2011-09-29T14:27:00.001-07:00

So I've always had a soft spot for Disney stars. It would be easy to blame it on the 9 months that I lived and worked there, but I was soooo totally obsessed with the 1990's Mickey Mouse Club way before that. Yeap Ryan Gosling will always be a Disney star to me ...

Anyways my obsession lately has bee Selena Gomez. I may have been 21 when her show "Wizards of Waverly Place" premiered -- but I was hooked. She's even made me kinda like Justin Bieber. I KNOW!!!! Anything that girls touches is like gold to me. You can make fun of me all you want, but it's just the truth. FYI: This blog is called "Embrace the Weird."

Her song "Love You Like A Love Song" has been on repeat on my music player for the past week. It's kinda funny because the first time I heard the song I was with my boyfriend at a baseball game. These two little girls were pulled up on the dugout during one of the innings and sang the song. These girls were maybe 10. So my bf probably thinks I'm even more of a dork. Ehh *ETW!!

Ohhh, one last note! You have to admit she's a better role model then Miley Cyrus ever was.

My 25 for 25

2011-09-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

When my best friend Trina turned 25 last year she started a list of goals she wanted to accomplish during that year. I thought it was such a great idea I decided to also do it when I turned 25.

Below is the list. I've split them up into groups. Some are big goals, some are pretty trivial. This list will also be in place of any type of New Years Resolution.

PERSONAL

1. Move Into My Own Place
Trina will be leaving in just a few days as she gets married. Since most of my other friends are set in their living situation that leaves me alone. I want to find something that I can call my own.

2. Get Engaged
Yeah I know .... but I would love for something like that to happen.

3. Reach My Weight Goal
I had a similar goal for my 25th birthday. I figure giving myself another goal over the year would get me down to a weight I could feel truly healthy with.

4. Meet Caitlin Hepburn
Nope she's not related to Audry or Katherine, but she's just as awesome. Caitlin is the only girl in BIBP that I have not met in person. I want to somehow make it happen.

5. Be a Better Aunt, Sister & Daughter
Sometimes I feel like I neglect my immediate family. I want to do better with phone calls, sending cards and etc.

6. Spa Day
I hardly ever treat myself to something nice, so this would be fun. This goal requires at least a 30 minute massage.

7. Save Money
I have a specific dollar amount in mind for something specific ... leave it at that :)

PROFESSIONAL

8. Open Etsy Shop For Custom Photo Canvases.
I've been making the canvases as gifts for friends and family, but maybe I can make a little extra cash with other people. It's a thought.

9. Become Better At My Job
I want to be able to leave work every day and know I did the best I could and that we put out the best work in Nashville

HOBBY RELATED

10. Run 555 Miles
At the pace I've been going I end up running about 9 miles a week. That's 468 miles in a year. So I feel like those extra 87 miles will push me to run at least 1.5 extra miles a week.

11. Run A Half Marathon
This would be a huge accomplishment, but I would love to push myself with something physical like this that I've never dreamed I'd be able to do.

12. Catch Up on Scrapbooking
Truthfully I haven't done a lot of new things that have meritted scrapbooking, so it shouldn't be that hard to catch up. I have the second Alaska trip, my trip to California, and some Youtube meet ups.

13. Find More Structure with YouTube
It's a hobby I started nearly two years ago -- and most recently I haven't been loving it like I use to. I want to find a happy medium this year.

14. Go To A Youtube Gathering
Can be organized or random, but I want to be more involved in the community.

15. Start Singing Again
This can be small or huge. I use to sing all the time in choirs, in solo performances ... then one day I just stopped. I want to either get back into a steady group, record something small or do something small like sing the national anthem at a baseball game :)

16. Read 12 Books
It sounds like a small number, but I don't read a lot so this would be big for me. My entire day at work revolves around reading so going home and reading more doesn't sound fun to me. I want to find books I'm really inspired by. Reading 12 would be 1 a month.

17. See Elizabeth & The Catapult in Concert
That girl is hard to track down, especially in Nashville -- but I want to see her again. Maybe she'll remember me like last time (that was the COOLEST thing ever.)

18. Learn a New Recipe Every Month
I'm such a fuddy duddy when it comes to cooking. I have a small list of things I like and that's what I make all the time. I want to expand my taste with some more foods.

TRAVEL RELATED

19. Go Camping
This was probably one of my most favorite things growing up and I haven't done it in over 10 years. I want to get a tent and just go for it. At least one night under the stars.

20. Go To Disney World
It will be almost 4 years since I was down in Orlando and 6 since I worked there. I really want to get back and have some fun.

21. Visit Atlanta
David has been talking about showing me is old stomping grounds. And it's been a long time since either of us has been to the Coke Factory.

22. Travel To See A Concert
Music is literally in every crack and corner of Nashville, so it’s not hard to see. I want to be a “true” fan by traveling somewhere to see one of my favorite artists.

RANDOM

23. Write More Letters
I was to be vigilant about writing letters to my friends, especially those that live out of Nashville.

24. Get Some New Furniture
I'm in need of an update -- specifically my bed. I'm still sleeping on the same mattress I had when I was 12.

25. Buy More Dresses
They are cute & fun so why not ...

Meeting The Girls

2011-08-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

So, the big secret has finally been revealed!! This past week, Kellie & I made a surprise visit up to Chicago to see Amy. It was 3 of the 4 "Big is Beauty" girls in the same room!!

To go ahead and address the question you are probably asking ... No, Caitlin was not able to come. Believe me it was one of the most heart breaking things. I believe the trip would have been even more fulfilling and fun with her there. In fact the whole idea behind the trip was Caitlin. Late 2010 Amy had invited all of us girls to her graduation party which wasn't until May 2011. She hoped by giving us amble time we would be able to make it. Unfortunately the timing just wasn't right for any of us so we had to decline. That's when Caitlin got "The" idea.

The three of us hooked up with Amy's mom to plan a surprise for when all of us could make it. We decided on the first week in August. It just seemed to be a good fit, and we knew Amy would be free since she wasn't going away to college till September. Plans were going along well and all of us were so excited. Then about two weeks before the trip, Caitlin dropped the news .... some financial problems were getting in the way. Honestly my first reaction was to cancel the entire trip -- and try to do it again later when we could ALL be there. But Kellie had already bought a plane ticket and it was non-refundable. It was a hard decision, but Kellie and I decided to proceed alone (of course with Caitlin's approval).

Day One: Friday, August 5th

I had decided early on that the easiest thing for me would be to drive up to Chicago. I would end up spending less in gas money and with all the rest of the girls flying in we would still have a car to get around with.

I left Nashville at 4am. Why so early? Kellie's flight was getting into Chicago at 10am and I didn't want her sitting at the airport too long. Leaving at 4am would put me in Chicago around Noon ... or so I thought. The drive was really nice. I hit the two major cities I was going through (Louisville, Indianapolis) either right before rush hour or after. However when I reached Chicago I was not so lucky. Once I entered the city limits it took me two hours to go the 20 miles to the airport. I didn't pick up Kellie till almost 1:30pm.

I've always said this, but meeting people from YouTube for the first time in person is a surreal experience. Even though it's the first time to "really" meet Kellie, I already knew so much about her ... so it was natural. As soon as we got in the car to drive to Amy's house we dived into conversation like we had known each other forever.

We were both excited to surprise Amy and couldn't wait to get to Joliet, which is a suburb of the city. Amy knew that someone was going to surprise her that day, but she didn't know who. Long story short, Amy's mom needed to tell her that something was happening so she would clean her room and get things ready for visitors. Needless to we hadn't even barely pulled into Amy's driveway and she was already out the door to greet us. She had been sitting at the window ... waiting for her surprise. Silly Girl!!

That night I demanded we get so real Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. Amy obliged and took us to "Beggars" for a sausage deep dish. It was truly amazing. So much cheese and sauce ... yum yum yum.

We closed the pizza shop down talking about love, life and pretty much everything you could think of. Seriously .... I think we were at the restaurant for almost 3 1/2 hours. Afterwards, we went back to Amy's crawled into our pajamas for more girl talk and then sleep.

Day Two: Saturday, August 6th

It's no surprise, all of us BIBP girls are Harry Potter fans. And Amy had a great idea for something we could all do together that day. One of the movie theaters near Chicago has "D-Box. It's basically motion activated seats.

They were playing Harry Potter, and even though all three of us had already seen the movie twice we all thought it would be fun to watch it with the motion seats. I'm telling you -- it was a COOL experience. During the scenes with the dragon you actually felt the motion of the dragon, and jolted and flew with the scenes. After the movie we picked up some ice cream and walked around a cute suburban town for a while.

Since Amy didn't know we were coming to town she had bought tickets to the "American Idol" concert that weekend. Kellie and I insisted she still go and we would find something to occupy our time. We ended up going to a drag show with her older brother Brian.

Let me tell you about his kid -- he is a hoot and a half. Absolutely adore him!! I've been to events where people were in drag, but this was my 1st actual drag show. Boy was it crazy!! At one point, I thought people were going to get violent. It didn't help that it was a small room and it was probably 105 degrees with so many people crammed inside. But our favorite girl of the night won ... so we walked away happy ... and tired.

Day Three: Sunday, August 7

Day Three was finally our chance to be tourists. We planned the entire day around just hanging out downtown and seeing all the tourist trap attractions. We decided to take the train into Chicago so we could get the "real city experience." From Joliet to Chicago it took about a hour on the train. Once we got off we walked to Michigan Avenue where most of the activity was happening.

Poor planing on our part put us in Chicago at the same time as Lollapalooza. Thankfully we didn't have to tangle too much with the crowds. HOWEVER ON A COOL NOTE!! ShayCarl, KassemG, and Charles Trippy were also in Chicago because o Lollapalooza. So even then though we didn't actually run into any of them ... we were close to cool ... which makes us cooler. LOL!

We got to do all of the touristy things including seeing the Smart Cube and The Bean. For lunch we went over to the Cheesecake Factory in the basement of the John Hancock Building. We shared cheesecake for desert and talked to our waiter about our YouTube experience. At one point he asked if we were from Chicago which brought up the point that all three of us came from different parts of the country. When he wanted to know how we met .... that launched us into our YouTube story. It was a cool experience: being with my YouTube girls and talking about YouTube to a strange.

Gosh! When I think about how YouTube has changed and shaped my life ... it's just crazy. I've been on so many fun trips, learned about so many cool/nerdy things, and had my life twisted and turned because of YouTube. I can even credit BIBP and YouTube for giving me my boyfriend ... who is no doubtingly the most wonderful thing in my life right now. Anyways back to the trip ...

After lunch, we went shopping. We didn't do too much because we wanted to get back on the 6:30 train to Joliet. However we didn't anticipate mother nature who decided to send rain. It was pouring when we walked of the building!! We tried to hop a bus, but the one we wanted was no where in sight so we just jumped on one that would bring us close to the train station. Sadly ... it was also the slowest bus in history. Long story short we ended up missing a stop, getting kicked off the bus, and missing our train. We then had to kill 2 hours because that's when the next train was running.

It ended up being a good thing because it gave us time to go to the Sear Tower and go up to the SkyDeck. That was by far my favorite part of the trip. Chicago is just so pretty and seeing it from the sky is the greatest. They even had one of those glass observation decks that you can step out on. It was a little scary -- but worth it.

After the Sears Tower we made it back to the station for the 8:30 train and made it back to Amy's home

Day Four: Monday, August 8

Our last day together was very chill. We needed to drop Kellie off at the airport so we didn't plan anything big. We went over to Portillo's Hot Dog place for a real Chicago Dog. IT WAS AWESOME!!!

Day Five: Tuesday, August 9

This was the day I left to go back home. I started the trip really early at 5am and made plans to stop in Louisville to meet our Guest Friday for the Month, Caity. It was a cool way to top off my trip.

In all I got to meet everyone on the channel, but Caitlin. And honestly, Caitlin was the one I was looking forward to the most. I'm not saying that to make her feel bad ... cause I know she was disappointed about not being able to come. I say it because I love that girl and I want her to know the trip was not the same without her. But you know what?? This channel has been around for over 2 years -- and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. So we got more then enough time to see each other some day.

Moving SUCKS!!

2011-07-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

In May of this year a friend of mine shared with me some of the best news ever. She was getting married! This tidbit is exciting for her, but for me ... it was bittersweet. You see not only is this person my friend, but she's my room mate. So while she was sharing with me great news she was also handing me an invisible "I'm moving out" notice.

I moved out of my parents home when I was 17. The early age has nothing to do with problems at home, but the mere fact that I was young when I graduated from high school. I went away to college and besides one summer between my freshmen and sophomore year I never came back to live with my parents. So I've basically been on my own for the past 7 years. But while I say that I've never actually been on my own. I've always had a room mate and in some cases, like when I lived in Florida, I had FIVE room mates.

This will be the first time I will have ever truly been alone. SCARY! Kind of makes me thankful I finally got around to getting a cat. Isn't he adorable??!!

My room mate doesn't get married till the end of September and won't be moving out till the end of October, but I've already started my search. I'll be moving to an area that's relatively close to a "bad" area of town. However, it's closer to my boyfriend and since I'll be living alone I wanted to be near him in case of emergency. It's also cheaper for my income. Still the whole process has been stressful.

I looked at about 9 possible places and found only 4 that I would really be willing to move because of price and location. I do have a favorite that I will probably end up actually choosing... but I'm still worried. Honestly I think I will always be worried until I actually move into the place. It's the fear of the unknown. Will I have bad neighbors? Will I get broken into? Will I be safe? Will I really be able to afford a place by myself? So many questions that I won't have the answer to till it actually happens.

The Final Harry Potter

2011-07-15T11:25:00.001-07:00

So I've never been a HUGE Harry Potter fan but with the last movie coming out I really wanted to be at the midnight showing. My room-mate and I had talked about it several months before the tickets went on sale, but a week before the movie we still hadn't bought anything. Luckily the movie theater close to us still had tickets.

We showed up at the theater 45 mintues before the show and there was a huge crowd gathered outside. Luckily our theater was already seating so we walked right in and just grabbed a couple of open seats near the front. Very easy. I keep hearing these stories of people who sat in line for 10+ hours and I think that's nuts. We didn't even have to wait 5 minutes.

A lot of people were dressed up including some young girls who I think were wearing dresses way to short for Hogwarts. **This is when you know you're old** As for us, we did not dress up. Even though there were discussions of IF we dressed up what random character we would be. My friend Forrest said he would have dressed up like one of the moving paintings. He'd get a really nice frame and hold it in front of him the entire time. You think I'm joking?? He did something similiar for Halloween except it was Jack Nicholson from "The Shining."

I've always enjoyed midnight showings of movies because the crowd is so enthusiastic. And this movie was no except. People were cheering and clapping during different parts. I even could hear during a sad moment people crying ... including myself. Yeap folks I CRIED THREE TIMES.

******************SPOILER ALERT***********************

I totally cried during the flash backs with Snape. Snape has always been one of my favorite characters. I have a tendency to route for the underdog and it was clear to me in the first four books that Snape was clearly misunderstood. I remember reading the last book and screaming for joy when JK Rowling finally explained by Snape killed Dumbledore and how it was all part of the plan. But having Snape be in love with Lilly was the icing on the cake for me.

During the flash backs in the movie when Lilly died and Snape came into the house and was on the floor holding her and crying .... omg I just lost it. After that I was already a little emotional and cried again when Tonks and Remus were shown dead and when Harry met up with the spirits of his dead Parents, Sirius, and Remus in the forrest. That's the part when I heard a lot of other people crying too.

*****************SPOILERS FINISHED********************

Overall, I thought it was an amazing end to the series. I was pleased with how they pulled everything together. Even the very end which I've heard a lot of people weren't too impressed with -- but then a lot of those same people didn't like it in the book either.

I'm sad to see the series come to an end considering I was only 11 when the first book was published. It's been around for the majority of my life. Still I look forward to the day when I'm able to read the books to my kids and see the expression on their face when they imagine the Harry Potter world for the first time.

Let's Get Personal

2011-07-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

I've recently had some significant changes in my life. The first and foremost being my boyfriend. I realized that when I last updated this blog I had already been seeing him for about a month -- but failed to mention anything about him to you guys. WHY? I guess the main reason is because I've never wanted to get too personal on these blogs. The same holds true for my Youtube work. Because of the fact that I work for the media I understand how you can leave behind a digital footprint that you may not be too proud of. Still, I my favorite blogs are the ones where the writer makes you feel like you know them on a personal level.

Therefore, I want to try to turn a leaf and get a little more personal. I do that first by introducing my boyfriend to you.

I lovingly refer to him on twitter as "the boy" but his real name is David. We met in college about 4 years ago but never had anything more then a casual relationship. We knew of each other and would run into each other in the halls or class -- but it was never anything more. Then 4 months ago he messaged me just out of the blue on facebook. He'd seen a video that I posted for my Youtube collab channel and wanted to see if we could get dinner. As they say, the rest is history. It's been an incredible 4 months and I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. We are on a pretty fun journey right now so hopefully you guys will get to see and hear more from him.

Secondly, I left one of my Youtube Collab Channels. As some of you know I've been on the "Big is Beauty Project" or "BIBP" for almost two years and "VlogCountries" for a year and a half. BIBP is still going strong and I love the girls more and more each week but sadly it was time to walk away from Vlogcountries. It was becoming too hard to keep up with the demanding amount of work I had on my plate and VlogCountries was the lowest priority in my life. Therefore I'm hoping to channel the attention I did put on those vlogs into the things I'm already doing. In essence -- do a better job with the things I've let slide in the past months.

I want to let you guys into my life more and hopefully we can start up a genuine and fun discussion here. So if you have any questions ... any at all ... just leave them in the comments and I'll respond in some upcoming posts.

I Hate Blogging

2011-04-14T08:57:00.001-07:00

Okay, that's not true .... I'm just bad at coming up with interesting ideas to talk about. I'm jealous of bloggers like The Haleylujah Chorus who can just write about their life and it be interesting. Truthfully my life is kind of boring, and the fact that I write everyday at work probably doesn't help in making me want to come home and write some more.

Anyways I'm less then 6 months away from my 25th birthday. I know I say this all the time, but it's kind of a big deal for me. That's a quarter of a century!! I feel like I should be "somewhere" at this age. I know, I know, you're probably screaming at your computer saying "SAMANTHA YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING." True -- I have a pretty awesome job that many would kill for and I did win an Emmy this year, but for some reason I feel like I haven't reached the best I could possibly get. Blahhh .... You'd have to be inside my head to really understand.

My best friend Trina just turned 26. This year and last year (for her 25th) she did a list of goals. For her 25th she did 25 things and now for her 26th she's doing 26 things. I like this concept even though I have to admit that coming up with 25 goals to aim for over a year's time seems a little daunting. Either way I've started to think of things to do for my 25th. I'm gonna put a couple that I thought of below but if you have any suggestions leave me a comment.

25 for 25

1. Run 555 Miles
At the pace I've been going I end up running about 9 miles a week. That's 468 miles in a year. So I feel like those extra 87 miles will push me to run at least 1.5 extra miles a week.

2. Find My Own Place
At this point I'm pretty confident that Trina will be leaving me as a roommate. And since most of my other friends are set in their living situation that leaves me alone. I want to either buy a house or townhome. Something that I can call my own.

3. Catch Up on Scrapbooking
Truthfully I haven't done a lot of new things that have meritted scrapbooking, so it shouldn't be that hard to catch up. I have the second Alaska trip, my trip to California, and some Youtube meet ups.

Adele "21"

2011-02-24T09:51:00.001-08:00

So, I have had this album on repeat for the past two days ... and that's cause it's AMAZING. Frankly, I'm a little biased since I've been a fan of Adele for a while, not to mention been looking forward to this album for months. My first taste of the the album was when she released "Rolling In The Deep" as a single. That song became my motto. I just recently went through a sort of break-up ... if you want to call it that. I'd been seeing a guy for almost two months and decided to break it off because it really wasn't going in a healthy direction. We had little to no communication and while there was definitely some sparks I felt like this wasn't a relationship that was going to stand the test of time unless we both worked at it. And frankly -- I didn't see him putting in the effort. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and has good intentions. It just wasn't going to work for us. When that happened "Rolling In The Deep" conveyed exactly what I was thinking and feeling at the time of our break up.

The album came out Tuesday (Feb 22), but I wasn't able to get a real listen to it till Wednesday. AND I WAS IN LOVE! Every song speaks to me and exactly what I've been feeling for the past couple of weeks. I can honestly say it will probably define my 2011. I was watching an interview with Adele in which she talks about each track and the back story of why she wrote it or what she feels like the lyrics say. It's almost like everything I've been going through recently is what she was going through when she put together the music. The album really tells a story and you can feel a progression of emotions. The same emotions I've been having.

My favorite tracks of #3 "Turning Tables" and #6 "He Won't Go." Though 2 "Rumour Has It" & 5 "Set Fire To The Rain" come in very close seconds.

I'm getting the opportunity to see Adele live in June when she visits Nashville. This will be my first time seeing her live and I am more then excited. You know you'll get plenty of videos from that night.

Yeap, I'm Not Dead

2011-02-10T13:08:00.000-08:00

So it's been a long time -- and when I say that I REALLY mean it. My last blog was about Black Friday. That was over 2 1/2 months ago. This either means that my life is really boring and you have no desire to hear about it or I'm lazy. The second one is probably the most accurate.

So what has happened to me since then? Christmas was a little bit of a bore -- nothing too exciting except for seeing my baby nephew who is probably the most adorable kid in the world.

The last time I saw him, he was only 3 months old -- in this picture he's 7 months. He's gonna be a heart breaker when he's older.

At the beginning of the year I vowed to make 2011 AWESOME!! I'm turning 25 this year. That's a big number for a girl. It's kind of a bench mark year. So far things have been going well. I've started talking to a really awesome guy and started running again. This time my foot hasn't been hurting so I see me keeping it up better. Also I won an Emmy in January!!

The girl in the picture is one of my friends from church. She insisted on taking a picture with me and my Emmy. Crazy, I know! I won the Emmy in Special Event Live. It's actually for my work with the Emmy show. Yeah, I know -- and Emmy for the Emmy show. It was a complete surprise and an honor. I'm still only starting to really grasp how awesome it is to have one of those on my shelf.

BLACK FRIDAY

2010-11-26T22:58:00.000-08:00

Instead of making a video this year -- I've decided just to blog about my Black Friday experience. Probably because unlike all the media coverage from across the county my overnight shopping trip was very uneventful and oddly pleasant.

I'm not sure if this is because I use to work at Disney and understand crazy crowds or if I'm just that easy going, but this is the second year in a row Black Friday shopping for me has gone smooth. Remember my video from last year?

This year I met up with my sister and brother-in-law in Mount Juliet, TN. We decided to hit Walmart at midnight and then Target at 4am. We got to Walmart and the crowds were a little overwhelming. Even though we got there at 11pm most of the good stuff was already picked over. I believe Walmart is one of the worst stores for Black Friday because they aren't the most organized. Even though the sale doesn't start till midnight people get there at 10pm grab everything they want and just hang around for a couple hours. This leaves the people that actually came at the right time SOL. Luckily most the things we wanted were DVDs and Electronics and most of it was still there. Electronics didn't go on sale till 5am but the lady behind the counter said she would try to ring it up anyways AND IT WORKED. We walked out of the store with the on-sale item four hours before it went on sale. Again, Walmart is so stupid.

We headed over to Old Navy which was pretty crazy too. We ended up waiting in line for about an hour and a half just to check out. It wasn't as awful as it sounds though. I was there with my sister who I don't see all the time so we got to talk and most everyone in line was nice and friendly. We also had conversations with them. I suggest that if you go shopping on Black Friday you bring along someone who actually wants to be there. It will make the experience more fun.

Next was Target at 4am. At this point we had been out and about shopping for three hours and it had started to sleet. YEA SNOW -- Unless you are standing outside! My sister and I were in a very long line (yes outside in the sleet) just to get into the building and it was cold. Again it wasn't as bad as it sounds. We kept laughing and being silly -- and again the people in line were friendly and holding conversations with us.

All in all I got a lot of shopping done for EXTREMELY low prices. I got everyone crossed off my list except for a couple people. I don't understand why some people are so AGAINST doing Black Friday. I feel like the rest of my holiday season will be a little less stressful because I did it. I now don't' have to worry about buying presents ...

Did you do any shopping on Black Friday? What was it like?

American Bang!

2010-10-23T06:08:00.000-07:00

My friend Michelle has been hounding me to check out a local Nashville band called "American Bang" for over a year now.

A little background on Michelle and I's relationship is needed to understand this. I went to a concert for a folk artist named Bobby Long in November of 2009. I took several videos of the concert and put them up on Youtube. Within a day a got several commments including one from a girl saying she was at that concert and really enjoyed it. Being the avid Youtube I am -- I tracked down the girl's homepage and left a message asking if she was going to another concert that following week for one of Bobby's friends named Sam. When she said yes, indeed she was going, I mentioned I wanted to go but didn't have anyone who would go with me. Long story short I ended up meeting up with her at the concert and becoming instant friends. We meet up only every once in a while, but it usually revolves around Twilight or talking about music.

Michelle is very knowlegable of the local Nashville rock scene -- she's even friends with the guys from "Kings of Leon" as she was a fan when they only had a small following in Nashville. She is always showing me new music and inviting me to shows. That includes some really close friends of hers called "American Bang." I'm not a huge rock and fan so combined with that and a busy work scheduled I've never been able to go in the year she's constantly invited me ... that was until this week.

My work schedule finally panned out to where I could travel to Memphis to see the band play a gig. Our plan was to meet with a friend, Melissa, who had just recently gotten into "America Bang's" music. After a three hour drive we reached Memphis, grabbed something quick to eat and drove over to the venue.

We ended up running into the guys right off the bat. They saw Michell and gave her a huge hug -- talked to us for abou 20 minutes before the show began. Like I said early in the post, I'm not a huge rock fan ... but this concert was AMAZING. The guys really know how to put on a show. It probably helps that we also got to hang out with them for several hours after the show. I've learned really quick that I connect to musicians and actors once I get to see their personalities. That's why I enjoy watching interviews with actors or that I became a fan of Jackson Rathbone (Jasper from Twilight) after attending a press junkett where him and his band mates jammed with us for an hour. Needlesss to say, I'm an American Bang fan now. It was nice getting to meet the guys and I would reccomend them to everyone even people who aren't rock fans like myself.

Hats Off To You Mark Zuckerberg

2010-10-01T00:46:00.000-07:00

If you're reading this post it may be because you're subscribed to an RSS feed for my blog, or maybe you follow me on twitter -- but more then likely you found this through a link on Facebook. Facebook .... what a concept.

I first saw the trailer for "The Social Network" while watching a midnight showing of "Inception." Immediately the idea of a movie about the creation of facebook struck my attention. Why wouldn't it? I joined facebook in the fall of 2004. I was a Freshman in college at Middle Tennessee State University and already the buzz was surrounding the campus -- Facebook had come to MTSU. My first reaction was objection. Why would I want to sign up for site that was just like Myspace? Having been on Myspace for several years I had already started to pick up on what everyone else would eventually realize for themselves -- Myspace is dumb. My boyfriend at the time kept prompting me to get a facebook account. I declined. Though I must admit part of it may have been out of pure wanting to have another thing to argue with him about (our relationship was already on the brink.) Just weeks after breaking him with him .... I signed up for an account.

I had the pleasure of getting to attend the midnight premiere of "The Social Network" this past Thursday. After the movie was over and the credits began to roll I found myself oddly .... sad. Not because someone died in the movie or because things ended badly, but because I found myself emerged in what I felt was an underlining message of the story.

As the movie poster says you can't get to 500 million friends without making some enemies. Without ruining the entire reason why you need to go see this movie -- and yes I'm saying you NEED to see this movie, the basis surrounds the founder Mark Zuckerberg as he creates what we now know and are addicted to .... Facebook. It also chronicles his relationship with his best friend Eduardo Saverin who is also credited with being the co-founder of the popular social media site.

Zuckerberg and Saverin's relationship is ... in best words "rocky." The creation of the company basically tears their friendship apart resulting in a mega-milllion dollar lawsuit. I'm assuming for theatrical purposes the following line was added for cinematic effect, but during the movie Saverin looks at Zuckerberg and says "I was your only friend."

What a concept -- his ONLY friend. In a world where the term "friend" has changed drastically thanks to the invention of Facebook -- the man who created the site really only had ONE friend. And what did he do? Throw it away for the idea of millions of friends and billions of dollars. I dare to say the movie is a cautionary tale, but for me it's exactly what it was. Having gone to see the movie with two people I consider to be my closest friends I had the strange urge to hold on to them and never let go. Is it possible that I too could make a mistake that would drive them away only for my personal gain?

I don't believe Mark Zuckerberg set out with the intentions of losing his best and possibly only friend, but that's exactly what happened. In a world where money and popularity get you on the cover of a magazine, featured on Youtube, or put you on the front page of Google News I choose to put my friendships before myself. I started a journey on Youtube just over a year ago. And while I can truly be honest with myself and say that part of me longed to become a "Youtube Celebrity" I've instead found a new group of friends from around the country and world. Yes, being a so-called "Youtube Celebrity" could bring me money and fame, but putting a price on my new found friendships is impossible. Social Media for me as become more then just a way to up my social status or get myself noticed by other people. Social Media has become what I believe the true and honest intent really was .... having better friendships.

So Mark Zuckerberg -- while you may have lost your best friend, my hats off to you for making mine stronger.

JoNate Scales (RIP)

2010-09-04T23:31:00.001-07:00

I'm only 23 years old, but already I've experienced great loss. On April 20th 2007. I lost a friend in Afghanistan. Since his death I've been affected by the news of death is ways I never imagined.

This morning as I was making my normal rounds on the internet (Twitter, Dailybooth, Facebook) I noticed a post from my sister. It basically stated that she was stunned by the news of the passing of a friend of ours. I was floored ... we had lost another person far too soon.

This man was not my best friend, I wouldn't even really call him a friend -- but an aquaintance. But to express how the news of his passing has left me will take months for me to fully be able to understand and explain. JoNate Scales was the worship leader at my childhood church during my high school and early college years. Your 13 to 20 year old years can be very rough. So to have Jonate in my life during that time was a blessing. Whenever I saw JoNate he was always smiling -- always cheerful and was a great example of what Christianity truly is.

On Friday night, JoNate went to sleep beside his wife and never woke up. My mind always puts itself in the position of those who lost the most. I imagine being his wife, rolling over to wake him up to only realize he was cold and not moving. Frantically calling 911 and grabbing her only two month old daughter. Screaming endlessly trying to wake him up. Did this really happen? I don't know, I wasn't there -- but just the idea of that scene breaks my heart and brings me to tears.

We can never understand why things happen the way they do. I'll never know why my friend landed on that IED in Afghanstan and was blown apart, and I'll never know why JoNate had to die at only 31 years old. I can only cherish the memories I have. I can remember walking into the XA college center in Cookeville, TN and being greeted by JoNate. Getting the oppurtunity to experince a worship service led by him and getting to hear of his life experiences and learn from him.

My prayers are with his wife and baby girl.

Wow! Cleanliness is close to Godliness

2010-09-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

I've been in a funk lately. I'm not talking about being sick or even in a bad mood -- just a funk.

This funk can be defined as not eating right, not exercising, not cleaning, and just not caring. I blame the funk on the major transition that is happening in my apartment. As told in my last blog, my room-mate of two years is moving out and being replaced by my best friend. I'm completely happy with this move -- it's just put me in a funk.

Once the old room-mate started to move out; clothes, boxes, trash, etc. where just strewn around the place. If you've never moved before you'll have a hard time imagining this. To make matters worse I decide THAT was a good time to paint my own room. This required boxing my own stuff up, uprooting everything in my room, and painting. Did I mention that I did this by myself? That was just the first week.

The second week my new room-mate took over the reins. She didn't actually move in till the next week, but we painted her room, did repairs and what not. I was still finding stuff from my old room-mate and putting it into boxes. At this time I decided not to go into the kitchen because it was just depressing -- and that I would eat out every night!!! Sounds like a dream, but hasn't been the best thing.

Week Three, my new room-mate is officially in. And the boxes are slowly going away. The kitchen is completely unpacked and everything is put away. I even made food in there for the first time in three weeks. I've truly learned that cleanliness is happiness. I'm even going to work out tonight. WOO HOO!!

Worst Blogger Ever

2010-08-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that I really neglect this blog. WHY?

1. Probably because I write ALL DAY LONG. When I'm at work, I'm constantly writing and editing scripts. By the time I get home the last thing I want to do is write more. That's why I found such a great outlet in the whole YouTube experience. I didn't have to write ... just talk.

2. I'm a content whore. What does that mean? Basically, I'm a perfectionist and don't want to post or even attempt a blog unless I know it's going to be good. I watch and read a lot of content during the week and a good majority of it sucks. I don't want to be one of those blogs!

3. Despite my willingness to be open during my videos and blogs there is a good portion of my life that I don't display on the Internet. It's not because I'm overly secretive -- I just think it's not necessary for my readers/viewers to know EVERYTHING to understand who I am and what I'm about. In fact, I have another blog that's only open to a few people. That's where a lot of my secrets are kept.

--------------------

One of my goals is to be come more appreciative of this blog -- especially since my involvement in YouTube as decreased a little recently. So what have I been up to recently?

As posted in an earlier blog, my room-mate has official moved out.

I first met Tiffany during my freshman year of college (2004). She was involved in the student TV station like I was. We weren't best friends and really never hung out unless it was for a station event, but when we found out that each of us was moving to Nashville and needed a room-mate it seemed simple.

Before you ask -- no she didn't move out because of a fight or because we hated each other. She wanted to upgrade, and I liked where I was. Plus my best-friend was looking for a new place to live so it was easy for her to just take over the lease.

So I guess you guys can meet my new room-mate.

I met Trina also during my freshman year of college (2004). I tell everyone we met -- she however says I stalked her. LOL! She was in my first ever media class "Introduction to Mass Media." This was a HUGE class with over 500 people. After a while I started to notice this girl who lived a couple doors down from me in the dorm. She left the same time as me and was always a few feet in front of me as we walked to class. Finally I ran up to her and introduced myself. We eventually started to hang out -- even skipping that class together.

She would become my dorm room-mate my Sophomore year (2005) and eventually we'd share an apartment with several other girls my Senior year (2007-2008). It's a friendship that has spanned 6 years and the entire country, which includes two trips to Alaska and a lot of time driving in an RV up and down the Alaskan Highway. I'm excited to have her living in the same town and apartment as me again. I won't miss spending the gas or 25 minute drive to visit her.

Eat, Pray, Love

2010-07-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

HP Status: #4 "Goblet of Fire" (pg 1)

So recently I have started to venture into the dating market. I guess that's an incorrect statement as I never really took myself off the market. It was more of -- being at the back of the shelf and having no desire to move foward. That changed in March of this year when I decided to take the step forward. In these five months what have I learned? That a. I'm a heartbreaker and b. I don't want to date.

If you noticed the Harry Potter status above, I haven't read a lick of the book since the beginning of the month. That is because I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" in anticipation of the movie being released.

Not to ruin the book or movie -- as the trailer clearly shows you -- this woman has been with a man her whole life and has never searched for herself. Now I can't compare this to myself as I haven't had an "official" boyfriend since the first year of college (2004) and my last "real" relationship ended in October 2008. I can count the number of boyfriends on just over one hand -- and the number of people I have dated doesn't get into the teens. However, upon reading this book I can draw a lot from her experience. During her journy she meets several people and one of them gives her a "jewel" of information that I want to share with you.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you attention so you can change you life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you , and then they leave. And thank God for it."

According to this statement I've already my soul mate. I had a best friend who came into my life and because of our relationship and eventual "break up" I was shown the things about me I liked, didn't like, and things I needed to get back to. So if I happen to meet the future Mr. Samantha Jay (don't worry I wouldn't make a guy take my name) along the road of MY present and future happiness ... then that's more then I could ask for.

HARRY POTTER!!!

2010-07-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

HP Status: #4 "Goblet of Fire" (pg 1)

So, I've been reading a lot of books lately. I attribute this to a recent "Harry Potter Book Club" I've joined. Here's the story ....

"Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone" was published in the U.S in 2008. The first movie came out in 2002. I didn't even turn a page until 2005. The book would have come out at a perfect age for me (11), but not being a big reader I never got into them. It wasn't until I was in college and the 4th movie was being released in theaters that I caught the bug -- and by caught the bug I really mean had the bug forced on me. LOL!

My best friends in college were big fans of the series and wanted to go see the 4th movie in iMAX, but I knew nothing about the story line and need to get on board to want to spend that kind of money for a movie. So after a little persuading I decided to take the leap. I read the first three books in a couple months and was on track to watch the movie. The Harry Potter craze snow-balled from there.

Back to present day -- the first part of the 7th movie is set to be released in November 2010. It was decided between my old college friends that were going to re-read the books in anticipation for the movie. The trailer boasts "The Cinematic Event of A Generation" and I really feel that way. I know I will probably cry when this whole series comes to a end. I was a little sad when the last book was released 7/7/07 but knew it wasn't over because they were still making movies, but this is really the end. This is always a great way to re-connect with my college buddies. It's been two years since I graduated and three years for many of the friends in my group. Some of us have moved out of state -- and definitely out of town, so we don't get together as often. Even our friend that lives in Arkansas is getting involved. Ge can't be with us in person but is still reading according to the schedule.

So as far as the status of the book club -- the reading schedule is as follows.

June: Book 1 & 2
July: Book 3
August: Book 4
September: Book 5
October: Book 6
November: Book 7

At the end of the month we then get together to watch the corresponding movie. So from now on out my blog posts will start with a little update on how far I am on the books. Hence the short title at the top.

A "Full-Time" Producer

2010-06-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

So warning off the top -- this blog has to do with Youtube. I KNOW!!! WHO KNEW!!!

As most of you know I'm a television producer. I've been doing it for a little over 2 years professionally, but worked a lot of free lance while I was in college. I started the whole YouTube gig about a year and a half (Sept 2009) after starting producing professionally. I mostly started YT because I felt creatively frustrated. I was at the bottom of the totem pole at my company and didn't have a lot of freedom. I came in everyday and wrote exactly what my producer asked of me -- that was it. By started the vlogging thing I felt more happy with the career that I choose and that I could really spread my TV wings.

Not even a month into the YT thing I joined "The Big is Beauty Project" which is a collaborative channel with 6 other people from across North America. Each one of us has a day and we post a video based on the topic for the week. I LOVE the channel and everything about the experience. So in January 2010 I joined another group "Vlog Countries" which is the same concept except it's with 6 people from across the world.

When I joined each channel I was coming into a group that had already been together for at least a year. I was the "NEW" girl -- and wanted to enjoy the fact that I wasn't in charge or the person that had to run the group. I've been trying to not "PRODUCE" my relationships.

Basically because of my job and my personality I tend to run everything like a TV show. I always seem to make a time line, deadline, character, and a basic run-down to everything. I didn't want to do that with my collaborative channels. So when something happens and I have to take charge or be the leader I feel like I'm getting into bossy the producer mode. I'm worried that others see me as overbearing. However there have been instances in the past 3 months where if I don't step up to the plate it seems no one else does. FRUSTRATING!! Double frustrating because of my job and because I know how it is "suppose" to be.

BLAH!!!!

Post Cards From Around The World

2010-05-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

So I'm helping out one my of YouTube friends with a project. If you've ever heard of postsecret it's very similar to that. She's sending out postcards to over 100 people and asking them to either write or draw their thoughts and send it back.

She sent me 10 postcards to give to my friends. So far I've given 3 to co-workers and plan on giving 3 more to my best friends when we have our girls night. (I know you guys read this so expect a postcard) I'm really thinking hard about what I want to put on my postcard. It doesn't have to be a secret -- it can just be a thought, but I have so many thoughts I can't think clearly. Does that make sense?

I've been looking through the postsecret website hoping to get some inspiration. So I guess my question to you guys is if you were to send a postcard what would it say. And if you live near me and want a postcard I'll give one to you. Are you can download a template by clicking here. The cards I have already have paid postage. If you download you'll have to pay according to your location. The cards are going to British Columbia, Canada.

Idle Hands = Devil's Playground

2010-05-18T20:38:00.001-07:00

For those of us who have a job, career, or full time responsibility (be it taking care of a sick family member, or kids) we all long and look forward to a vacation.

For those of you who don't know, I got a promotion last week. I am now a full time producer instead of Associate Producer. I will be starting my new position next week. The problem that arose with this new change is my old plans.

I have a vacation to Georgia planned in two weeks, and another to California in three weeks. All of these vacations were planned according to my old schedule -- which has been completely changed with this promotion. So in simple terms, my vacations have been kinda of screwed. Thanks to the fact I have a great work place they are still willing to work with my vacation and play my schedule around it.

The other day I went to work to see the new schedule up -- I'm off for nearly 2 1/2 weeks. I was floored ... and scared. Not scared because I was losing extra vacation days but because what am I suppose to do for 2 1/2 weeks. I was only planning on being for 3 days for Georgia and 7 for California. Now I'm off nearly 16 days.

They say idle hands are the devil's playground. For me, boredom is loneliness. I usually plan at least one night out with friends on my "weekends" -- how am I suppose to plan 16 days of activities? (besides my actual travel vacation of course) I even talked to the Executive Producer about working random days (I know I'm crazy)

I need to paint my room ... anybody want to join in a painting party??

Craigslist .... not so bad

2010-04-27T01:41:00.000-07:00

I think Craigslist gets a bad rap ......

When you saw the word "Craigslist", the first thing that popped into your head was probably prostitution or creepy personal ads. I however have used the site numerous times ... and not for booty calls. I've bought furniture, found garage sales, trolled for free things, and *gasp* even went on a date with at hott Italian who I'm pretty sure was part of the mafia (but that's a story in itself).

Anyways the point of my story is yesterday I had a sweet "this is what Craigslist should be about" experience. I have a TV Table I bought at a garage sale nearly 7 years ago. It's nice and sturdy -- I just don't have the use or need for it anymore. It's been sitting in my living room gathering dust so I finally took a picture and put it up on Craigslist.

I got a response from a lady and we worked out the plans for her to come over and pick it up. This lady ended up being the sweetest woman in history. As soon as she got out of the car it felt like I was talking to someone I'd known my whole life. She brought along a gentleman who helped her carry the table down my stairs (as there are a lot of them). He was even sweeter. She commented on how beautiful the area was, so nice and quiet, it was a blissful exchange.

So quit harping on Craigslist. I know there are some creepers, but nice people still exist.

My Room Mate is Moving Out!!

2010-04-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

I've always been a "forward thinking" person. What that means is I've always been looking forward when it comes to my life and not behind. When something happens to me whether it be good or bad my thought process is ... "okay it happened -- great lets move on." Sometimes this comes across badly because if it's a truly joyous occasion people assume I'm not really excited. I am! I'm just ready for the next adventure to happen.

Anyways, my life has been very static for the past 6 months. I started the whole YouTube experience but beyond that my career has been in the same place, my love life has been in the same place, and my home life has been in the same place. So I'm excited now that I see some good stuff approaching in the future.

After living with my current room-mate for 2 years we are going our separate ways. No, it's not because we had a falling out or want to get rid of each other we are just merely moving to a different part of our lives. I met Tiffany my junior year of college. She worked at the student TV station along with me. We had mutual friends but we never really hung out. When we graduated I knew she wanted to move to Nashville and mentioned that we move in together. She agreed and it just happened.

We live well together. We are both flexible, not easily annoyed, and don't feel the need to be BFFs. Don't get me wrong we are friends and hang out -- we just don't HAVE to share every heart breaking moment and deepest secret with each other. I believe it's been the secret to our success.

This August Tiffany will be moving out. I feel sad because I fear I'll lose touch with her like I do with most people, but I'm excited about my new room mate. My best friend whom I lived with for almost 3 years of college will be moving back in with me. It will be nice having my Twilight buddy around and not to mention not having to drive the 30 minutes to get to her apartment for movie and dinner nights. I'm already planning out how I'm going to reclaim space in the utility closet, re-decorate my room, and *maybe**maybe* talking about getting a cat. Trina and I always had these strange talks in college about how were going to grow old and be the "old single cat ladies." We had even named the future cats and picked out what color they were going to be. Hopefully we can keep the old/single part from happening.

It's nice to have something exciting to look forward to again. Not to mention I'm also going to LA in about 2 months. Things are looking up for me right now. NO more static.

What Happens to YT After We Die??

2010-03-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article from mashable.com several weeks ago. It's an old article but it talks about what happens to our social media accounts when we die. It may be a strange to think and talk about but for people like me it's important. I've created a lot of relationships through my social media accounts like Youtube & Twitter. So if I was to die -- how would those people know? Obviously my account would sit inactive, but how does my family let those I've become close to across the world know of my death?

My collab channel "VlogCountries" is holding auditions for new vloggers and as part of the process I've been researching channels and inviting several vloggers to audition. I was searching for Japanese vloggers when I came across the account "RodgerSwan." I watched several videos and really fell in love with his style and decided to send a message along inviting him to audition.

But as I scrolled through his informatin I came across this statement:
"Rodger's Family would like to thank everyone for the kind words, thoughts and
prayers. It has meant a lot to us in this tragic time."
My mind jumps up "WHAT??" it goes on to read:
"For those who don't know what happenend. Rodger died on jan 27th in Hanamaki
Japan of internal bleeding into the abdominal cavity caused by acute
pancreatitis."
His last video had been posted the day before. From that moment when I watched his video it became not just a window into his world but a memorial to this man I never knew.

It's an amazing thought but us bloggers & vloggers are creating not only an "in the moment" diary for others to read but eventually a memorial to who we are. Thankfully Rodgers family was able to get on his youtube and inform his followers of what happened. I want that too.

The article suggests you make a list of all your account usernames and passwords and just like a will let a close friend or family member know where it is in the event somthing should happen. Believe it or not in today's world social media is a big deal and several of us live an extention of our lives through those sites. This is also a testiment to what we blog or vlog about. What do you want to be remembered for?

Get Far Too Excited!!!

2010-03-17T04:27:00.000-07:00

So in less then 3 months I will going on a vacation to the West Coast. And I am getting FAR TOO EXCITED!!! When I worked at Disney I become friends with Rachel.

Me and her seemed to click instantly and every year since we left Orlando (2006) we've made it a point to visit each other at least once a year. This time around I am heading out her way which is also a great opportunity to see some of my new YouTube friends.

I've been doing this YouTube thing for about 6 months and it's been bizarre how fast I've made friends with the people I've interacted with. In fact I have more close YouTube friends then I have fingers. During my trip to the West Coast I am meeting up for the first time with several of these people. CAN'T WAIT!!!

To coin a Disney term, it's "magical" when YouTubers meet. I'm a viewer of a collaboration channel called "Bunch of Rejects." Recently three of their members were able to meet over Spring Break for the first time. The videos seems like so much fun.

You spend so much time watching videos, communicating on twitter, dailybooth, facebook, ect. That by the time you meet face-to-face it feels like you've known these people forever.

Anyways, I'm excited to see my friend Rachel again -- but I'm also excited to meet my YouTube compadres. If you are in the LA, San Diego, and Phoenix area ... leave me a comment and I might be able to meet up with you as well.

ColeGate 2010

2010-03-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

So, if you follow me on twitter -- the past day I tweeted out two comments about being at a hospital and it being "intense." It cracks me up because within 1 minute of posting those comments I got text messages from two of my YouTube buddies asking me if I was okay and what was happening. MAKES ME FEEL SO LOVED!!!

Sorry to scare everyone but I was keeping it a secret for this Sunday's video. Basically my sister is having a baby and I went down to Georgia over the weekend cause she started having contractions.

Yet here we are Sunday morning and still nothing. In fact at last check the doctor was probably going to send her home. So ColeWatch 2010 is a bust.

That's okay I got to finally watch "Up in the Air" in a hospital waiting room and I got to go to Georgia for the first time since my sister moved there. Which has been almost a year and a half. (I'm such a terrible sister.)

We have to head home for my dad and me's work. Is me's a word?? (So asks the journalist) My mom will be staying with my sister for a while so maybe something will happen later this week. You never know I might be back in Georgia next weekend.

OHHHHH and can I just say I missed the opening weekend of "Remember Me" for this kid. That proves a lot!!!

Confused Crossroads

2010-03-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

I once drove to a destination and was given directions on how to get there. At one point in the trip I was told that I would reach a fork in the road and from there I would turn left. I had miles to prepare for the fork and had time to be on the look out, when suddenly I saw a sign for the highway I thought I needed, but it came several miles earlier and it wasn't a fork but an actual turn left.

I got confused -- is this it? Am I suppose to turn? What about the miles of preparation? Where did those go?

So I take the left turn .... and surprise it's not where I was suppose to be. I get back on the original road. Yet for miles I'm still doubting. Am I sure that really wasn't the turn? When is the fork gonna come? Will it still be a left at the fork?

I'm on my way to a crossroad right now -- and I'm doubting everything. I've had this decision planned for a year, yet I got thrown in the lions den early and I lost. I can only have faith that I will reach the fork soon and that it's better then I ever expected. And that if I do go right instead of left it will be a far greater adventure then I ever planned for myself.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. " Jeremiah 29:11

More Dreams ....

2010-03-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know my last post was about dream but I had another one tonight and I realized this is yet another reoccurring dream, but have only started in the past year or two.

SCENARIO
I've been cast in a play (sometimes I'm back in high school, or community theater) this time it's for Disney (I use to work there.) However, for some reason I've never gone to rehearsal let alone opened the script to read it but once. So I just get thrusted on stage and completely forget my lines. Still the play continues on, people are ad libbing around me. Yet no one is mad or gives me mean looks -- the show just "goes on." Or course, I'm filled with panic and self loathing. "How could I let everyone down!!!" But have a really let everyone down cause no one really notices that I've messed up .... everything just happens without me. And let me clarify I haven't been given a random part in the play -- I'M THE LEAD!! Yet, no big deal!!

Crazy huh!?!

Gosh Darn Dreams

2010-02-28T12:02:00.000-08:00

The other day at church I was having a random conversation with my Drama group about dreams and the strange ones I have. And believe me, they made me feel like a nut. Below are the type of dream I always have.

1. WORK DREAM: Dreams in which I'm doing my job. Nothing ordinary or strange about the circumstances, I'm just doing my job. Except it's UBER boring. Example: I have dreams where I stand at the printer for hours and just watch it print scripts....

2. SHOT IN THE HEAD: Dreams in which I'm at "the wrong place at the wrong time" and I get shot. For example, I get shot by drive by shootings a lot. Anyways .... I get shot in the head and it's no big deal. Everyone is running about me and calling for 911 yet I'm standing there with no pain telling everyone to stop. I'M OKAY!!!

3. CHASED BY STRANGER: Dreams in which the same guy (yes, he looks the same each time) is hunting me down. Now, I've had these dreams ever since I was little, probably 4 years old. They use to happen all the time but they have tapered off lately. Anyways, I have the dream and no one is helping me. He can walk up to our front, ring the door bell, ask for me, and my mom will just let him in knowing exactly what he is going to do. These dreams usually end with me finding an awesome new hiding spot, like inside the grass clipping bag of a lawn mowing.

4. TEETH FALLING OUT: Self explanatory .... my teeth fall out. They can crumble, or just fall out in clumps. It's aways intensely scary and I usually wake up in a panic to make sure my teeth are still in. Oprah once talked about people who have dreams like this (cause apparently it happens to a lot of people). She says it's people who have an intense fear of failure -- cause when you lose your teeth everyone call tell that you fail at proper hygiene. I have to agree with her ... that theory makes a lot of sense.

What kind of dreams do you have?

Yes, I'm A Freak

2010-02-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

I recently watched the newest video from one of my favorite youtubers. And I instantly knew what my next blog would be about. This past month I made a new friend .... inocently enough it's more complicated then that. Here is why. I have three very seperate lives.

1. My "Real" Life -- Going to church, hanging with friends, spending time with my family and just being who I am.
2. My work life -- The competitive chick that's trying to prove to everyone that just because she's 23 it doesn't mean she is niave and knows nothing about television, how to make it or, or what people want to see. This is the girl that gets stereotyped as a "bitch" and will claw her way to the top. (None of which are true by the way)
3. My internet life -- The Youtube, Twitter personality that is witty, funny, and sometimes a little wierd. Is confident to put herself out there, but isn't willing to give too much away.

Depending on the situation that I've met you in, that's the life you are going to see. For the most part people I work with don't know my "real" life or internet life. People I meet in my internet life don't usually know my "real" life or work life ect, ect, ect.

So when I meet someone who I feel is really going to be a part of my life (and I mean my whole life) how do I introduce them to my other lives .... especially the internet one. Cause when you tell someone you make YouTube videos they always get a strange mental picture in their mind. So yes, I'm a video blogger .... I'm a freak, but I like it. See video below.

In Love With Pandora

2010-02-05T01:01:00.001-08:00

I have no definate musical taste. What that means is I tend to listen to random music that makes no sense together. I don't have a favorite band and rarely do I find a CD that I love EVERY SINGLE track on. That and I get bored of music real fast. I will love a song and outplay it. Then re listen almost two years later and fall in love with it again, only to outplay it again.

This is why I've become addicted to streaming music. Especially online radio stations like Pandora. Don't get me wrong I love my local radio stations, but I know what music they are going to play. (Whatever is "big" on Top 40 at the moment) But when listening to Pandora it's always a surprise. Sounds stupid, but I get excited everything a new song plays. I hurridly click over to the page to find out what artist and song it is. Eventually if you listen for more then 4 hours it will start repeating music .... so then I just switch to a different station.

I'm starting to sound like a huge commercial for Pandora. I swear to you I'm not getting any money .... I wish. I just wanted to express my love for the website. Going of 5 years of being a fan.

Twilight Geek

2010-01-27T02:59:00.000-08:00

So .... like the days when use to have a Xanga, I've started to neglect this blog. At least twice a week I think of an idea that I should blog about but then I get distracted. Youtube, omgpop, and facebook are just too addicting. I will try to do better.

This weekend the Twilight Convention is coming to town. I told myself last summer that I would attempt to go to a convention. Believe it or not, it's not in my personality to be a "fan girl." I've only once in my life been a huge fan of something and that was Nsynce. HOWEVER, I never went to a concert and didn't plaster my wall with pictures. I'm a more subdoed fan. I do have to admit though I'm still a fan and if they ever had a reunion concert I would go.

Anyways, back to Twilight. I got the oppurtunity to go to New-Con last November when I met Jackson Rathbone.

To make a long story short he was doing an interview at my room-mate's TV station and she took me with her. We got to hang out with him and his band "100 Monkeys" and his manager invited us to hang at the convention. -- Back to orginal thought -- We went to New Con and it was LAME!! Since then I've been weary about actually paying to go to another one. So this other convention is coming to town and I plan on going. But only with general admission for $20 and only if we get in day of. They claim they are already sold out. Let's just say this I won't be dissappointed if we can't get it.

I've had my Twilight fill for the month. Last week I went to Memphis for a Twilight party. It was really well done and I had alot of fun. After this party nothing Twilight can compare ... except for meeting Peter Facinelli.

My Big Butt is Saving Me!!

2010-01-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

So today at work one of our medical pieces was about why having fat thighs and butt may actually be healthy for you.

SEE I TOLD YOU!!!

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE60B4H920100112

Is The Grass Greener?

2010-01-11T04:26:00.000-08:00

So I was recently in church when I happened to glance over at the guy sitting next to me. He was writing in a notepad ... and being the nosey person I am ... several words jumped out at me. Particularly "American" and "British." He was a very nice looking guy, someone that I would consider quite attractive. He was medium build and appeared to be the kind of guy that hits the gym at least three times a week -- someone that I wouldn't think would have a problem with self esteem.

Anyways to get to the note, it posed the theory that people in England have better self esteem and self worth because television over there show "normal people" and not the ultra skinny people that are on American television.

I found this theory kind of odd -- mostly because I've watched YouTube vlogs from people who live the United Kingdom and how they talk about having bad self image. ALSO!! I love British television. Granted the most I can get in the states in American BBC and DVD on TV, but I'm almost positive that the majority of the women are still slender.

Do you think the grass in really greener on the other side of the ocean? Do people in the United Kingdom actually have better self esteem? Does American television show more "beautiful people" then British television?

Also, how interesting is it that this guy was writing this note? Hmmm ... I may have to get to know him better. ;)

Passive Aggressive ... or nothing at all??

2010-01-06T06:48:00.000-08:00

Where do you go to express your feelings?? It's a basic question, but I've found myself at a lose on how to answer it.

Today I was put in a situation that really got my blood boiling. My first thought was "I NEED TO TWEET ABOUT THIS!" I quickly rushed to my twitter account, but thanks to a slow internet connection my "sane brain" caught up with the rest of my body. Why would I tweet something that has the ability to be read by millions of people and in some cases copy, pasted, and printed so it remains for all eternity?

I follow a particular person on twitter that I have never met face to face yet feel like I know well because of Youtube. This person is constantly airing out bad blood through thier twitter account. Isn't this strategy a bit passive agressive?? Instead of calling that person, instant messaging, or e-mail that person -- you've written a 140 character statement to broadcast to the world (and indirectly that person) that you have a problem with another human being. When did this start happening? When were we taught to handle problems this way? Twitter has only been around for a year or two. And it's only reached a large popularity in the last 8 months. Yet, we've already adapted our lives to complain and hassal across twitter. Even celebrities use twitter to make official statements to the media.

I guess my real question is what happens to those of use who don't want to air our grievances in a passive agressive way? Where do we turn to? It seems like now-a-days people are only using social media to communicate. I EVEN DO IT!!! Good, gracious I have a Youtube page .... Does anyone solves problems face to face anymore?